Archives for June 2015

It’s Never Too Late

CommitmenttochangeBefore I could look at the part I played in the enabling dynamic, I focused on everything except my own emotional, spiritual, psychological, or physical health. It’s never too late to begin new behavior and we can start now.  One of the very things we can do to help our loved ones is to help ourselves first. The change that first comes to us will do more to help those around us than our ineffective enabling.

Initially, we need to identify the driving forces in our own lives. Then we need to make a commitment to modify our own behaviors as they pertain to the current situations with our loved ones, but we also need to change our behaviors as they pertain to the other relationships in our lives.



It’s time to find SANITY our lives that replace negatives patterns and behaviors with positives ones. Weary, angry, and resentful can become peaceful, happy, and hopeful.


Setting Boundaries with Adult Children


Excerpt from Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, (c) 2008, Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Oregon



Difficult People Have Emotions, Too

EmpathyIn order to obey God’s commandment to love our neighbors, we need to consider the perspective of the difficult people in our lives. Having empathy includes understanding that these people have feelings and emotions of their own. Unless we’ve walked in their shoes, we have no idea where they are coming from or what’s weighing on their hearts.

Empathy is different from sympathy. Being sympathetic means having pity and feeling sorry for other people. But when we have empathy, we can truly understand (or at least imagine) the depth of people’s feelings. We feel with people rather than feel sorry for people.

Feeling true empathy can be more than a little challenging when someone is causing us pain and stress. Challenging, yes, but with God’s help, not impossible.

If we have troubleSS01_AB setting boundaries, chances are we have our own issues to deal with, and it’s important that we deal with them. Protecting yourself and not becoming entangled in the emotional state of the difficult person in your life can become tricky.  Having empathy does not mean allowing people to mistreat us.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23


Setting Boundaries with Difficult PeopleSix Steps to SANITY for Challenging Relationships:

S = STOP repeating the same negative actions and expecting different results

A = ASSEMBLE supportive people around us

N = NIP excuses in the bud

I = IMPLEMENT a plan of action

T = TRUST the voice of the Spirit

Y = YIELD everything to God


 Excerpt from Setting Boundaries with Difficult People, (c) 2011, Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, Oregon