Make Your Writing Dream a Reality


Want to make your writing dream a reality?

Join me and an amazing faculty of professionals at the beautiful Lake Yale Conference Center in Leesburg, Florida for the annual Florida Christian Writers Conference from February 25 thru March 1, 2015. Visit the website now for more information, and make sure to check out the Faculty Blog for timely tips and updates on workshops, keynotes, continuing education classes, and more.


Talkin’ About the Stress of Being a Teen Girl – Join Me Today LIVE on The Debbie Chavez Show at 11:05 AM (CST)

Debbie Chavez Logo


It’s that time again! In August of 2013 Debbie and I talked about the challenges women have in setting healthy boundaries and listener response to that program was off the chain. In Auguist of 2012 our discussion on setting boundariers with food also brought a flood of listener phone calls.


Today we are going to cut right to the chase and discuss the serious issues teen girls are facing today and we’d love to have you join us as we talk about A Young Woman’s Guide to Setting Boundaries – Six Steps to Help Teens Make Smart Choices, Cope with Stress and Untangle Mixed-up Emotions.


The program is streaming live online and if you miss it a podcast will be available in the next few days.

Join us today, Monday, August 25 at 11:05 (CST) streaming live from on The Debbie Chavez Show.


The Debbie Chavez Show is carried Monday through Friday at the internet radio station. Debbie Chavez is a faith-based, internet talk radio host as well as a dynamic and transparent women’s conference speaker. Debbie Chavez is a pastor’s wife who interviews expert guests for Biblical wisdom and answers listener questions. consists of shows produced and distributed by the 501(c)3 non-profit organization Great Awakening Productions. Their mission is to fill the spiritual void in conventional talk radio with biblically-based perspectives that are presented by hosts who are not only dynamic, transparent, and frank…but have years of accumulated wisdom and experience in their fields. They desire to point listeners toward a deeper relationship with the God of the Bible. Currently, they have listeners in all 50 states and over 95 countries.


A long-awaited broadcast event from Billy Graham to our nation.


Listen to Billy Graham on his 95th birthday, this Thursday, November 7, 2013.

Listen to Billy Graham on his 95th birthday, this Thursday, November 7.


TBN will host the historic “My Hope America with Billy Graham” on Dr. Graham’s 95th birthday, November 7th.

For over sixty years his message of hope and healing has filled stadiums and major venues all over the earth, and his warm, assuring voice has reached out to billions of individuals and families on every continent through radio and television. Now beloved evangelist Dr. Billy Graham is embarking on one of his most historic efforts, My Hope America, partnering with individuals, churches, and ministries to reach out to neighbors, communities, and the nation with the simple message of salvation through Jesus Christ.


This very special thirty-minute broadcast will feature impacting testimonies from notable people whose lives have been changed through faith in Christ, along with a powerful message from Dr. Graham.


You can view “My Hope America With Billy Graham” on TBN November 7th at 5 p.m. Pacific Time (7 p.m. Central, 8 p.m. Eastern). To view the Spanish-language version of the program tune in to TBN’s Enlace Hispanic network November 7th (8 p.m. Pacific), November 8th (8 p.m. Pacific), or November 9th (5 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. Pacific).


What is Our Most Important Boundary?

Chocolate HeartDear Blog visitors, what does “guarding your heart” look like to you?

I’ve mentioned several important areas of life where women usually need to set boundaries, including relationships, home, workplace, church, and self. We’ve distinguished between helping and enabling, but I’ve deliberately set aside the most critical difference for this chapter. It’s that important.

Before a woman makes relational and psychological boundaries, she must consider her most necessary boundary—that of guarding her own heart. By that I mean a woman should know and respect the boundaries God has given for her heart’s protection. Protection is, after all, one of the purposes of boundaries.

According to Scripture, everything we do flows from our heart. Therefore, once this primary boundary is in place, we can set all other boundaries much more easily

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23).

(Excerpt from Setting Boundaries® for Women, Six Steps to Saying No, Taking Control, and Finding Peace by Allison Bottke, Harvest House Publishers, © 2013. All rights reserved. Page 57).

Countdown to Book Launch for Setting Boundaries for Women – Only 8 Days to Go!

Setting Boundaries for Women (02The 5th book in the Setting Boundaries® series from Harvest House Publishers will officially release Thursday, August 1. On that special book launch day, I’ll be giving away one free copy of Setting Boundaries for Women every fifteen minutes for three hours as I travel between this Blog and my Facebook Page from 11:00 to 2:00 (CST). Stop by and share your Setting Boundaries feedback, make comments, or ask me questions. Visit my website Home Page for more information.

In the meantime, I’d like to share some tidbits from Setting Boundaries for Women, Six Steps to Saying No, Taking Control, and Finding Peace. Tidbits that I hope you will find helpful on your journey to set or maintain healthy boundaries.

Many women live their entire lives unaware of how much better life could have been if only they had seen their need for boundaries and implemented them. Some women may neglect to set boundaries because the idea seems limiting, restrictive. But rather than restricting us, properly defined boundaries with others and with ourselves actually increase our freedom to be the women God designed us to be.

This is why boundaries can be so crucial. Boundaries properly set in place enable us to have control over our lives and our destiny.

“Control” is a word you’ll see often in this book. That’s because your goal in setting boundaries is to gain or regain healthy control over your own life whenever possible. Of course, sometimes you can’t control the unfolding panorama of external influences, circumstances, and situations. However, even then you can always control your responses and attitudes toward those circumstances as you also surrender them to God. That will be key to remember. You may not be able to control every outward influence or circumstance in your life, but you can control the way you react or respond.

Exercising this type of self-control with the help of the Holy Spirit is life changing. Women who passively accept the barriers that keep them from appropriately controlling their lives remind me of Proverbs 25:28—“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” Broken walls are like broken boundaries. The good news is that just as a city can rebuild broken walls, so too you can build the boundaries that will allow you to control your life and fulfill God’s destiny for you.

(Excerpt from Setting Boundaries® for Women, Six Steps to Saying No, Taking Control, and Finding Peace by Allison Bottke, Harvest House Publishers, © 2013. All rights reserved. Pages 13-14).

Dear Blog visitors, how would you respond to this question, “Can I still be a good Christian woman if I take control of my life?”


Join Thelma Wells Tonight for a “Wonder Woman” Sneak Peek

Thelma & Allison 11.8.2007

Don’t miss this free Sneak Peek tonight at 7 PM (CST)

Do you ever wonder what the women in the Bible would think of our world today?

Thelma Wells (aka: Mama T) is launching a series of three WONDER WOMAN conferences beginning this Saturday, July 27 in Carrollton, Texas. But you can also access these events via a live Internet stream! These are very unique conferences, as each talented speaker will be sharing a powerful woman in the Bible in tandem with their own message and testimony. Thelma’s mission for this unique outreach is “To empower mature women AND encourage the next generation and millenniums to strive to achieve the great legacy of powerful women celebrated in the Bible and within our society today.”

The three guest speakers for Saturday, July 27 are, Victorya Rogers (Hannah), Bethany Williams (Deborah) and Thelma Wells (Zipporah).

Tune in TONIGHT at 7 PM (CST) for a FREE SNEAK PEEK at Zipporah. Please share this message with your friends.

Embracing the Most Important Relationship

Jeremiah 29 11If we believe wholeheartedly that God is personally involved in our life, we would expect that He has something specific in mind for us to do while we’re here on earth.

In their book, Being Christian, Exploring Where You, God, and Life Connect, authors Stephen Arterburn and John Shore address four things every Christian will have at some point in life: answers, guidance, confirmation, and inspiration.  They address a question that has laid heavy on the heart of many believers: Does God Have a Plan for Me?

He certainly does.  God’s plan is for you to accept the fact that He loves you, has always loved you, and will always love you.  God’s plan for you is to trust in the truth of who He is, and in what He has done for you.  It’s for you to open yourself up to the wondrous powers of the Holy Spirit within you.

One of Satan’s most insidious strategies to attack and influence the children of God has been to keep them too involved with challenging relationships to care about a relationship with the One who cares the most—Jesus Christ.

Clearly, God wants us to be in loving relationships, starting with Himself.  Yet relationships are being destroyed, hearts broken, and families fractured as good Christian men and women forget what God has said about the most important priorities in life—to love Him first and to love our neighbors. This is the very essence of the gospel message.

Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. Matthew 22:37-40.

Step One: Love the Lord Your God

It starts by acknowledging Jesus Christ as our Savior—our Lord.

Ryan Northcutt is the pastor of a small (but rapidly growing) community church in Haltom City, Texas.  Pastor Ryan talked passionately about a personal God who understands what it’s like to live in this world—to be involved with people, challenges, troubles, and trials. He said:

We can’t do it on our own.  When we trust in ourselves it’s too hard.  If we rely on only ourselves we will be left wanting.  When we are separated from God we feel it—we may not know what is missing from our life—but we know something is. When that something becomes a relationship with the Lord, it’s impossible to live the same way.  When our relationship with the Lord grows—we grow.

It’s not about what we have to do to get to God, for by grace we are all saved. It’s about what Jesus did for us to get to us.


Adapted from Setting Boundaries with Difficult People, Six Steps to SANITY for Challenging Relationships  by Allison Bottke © 2011. Harvest House Publishers. All rights reserved.

Visit the Setting Boundaries Books website today for more information. 

Setting Boundaries with Difficult People

GET READY…Keeping Your Eye on the Goal!

It’s important to know our ultimate goal, no matter what we set out to accomplish. Runners who enter the annual Boston Marathon know if they want to successfully complete the marathon they will ultimately have to run an official distance of 42.195 kilometers (that’s 26 miles and 385 yards). No one enters this race unsure of the distance they are expected to run.

However, achieving this ultimate goal may require the accomplishment of several supplementary goals during pre-race training.

“After a scare with my heart, I entered the race mostly to get in better physical shape. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to run the entire 26 miles, but I knew the training would help,” said one runner. “I needed to lose 60 pounds, that’s really why I entered the race. If I reached that goal before race day and never ran, I would have succeeded,” said another.

While it was important to know the ultimate goal of running 26 miles, for many the supplementary goals leading up to race day were every bit as important.

As we work toward our ultimate goal, we want to accomplish several other goals as well:  We want…

  • We want difficult people to stop hurting us
  • We want to take control and stop the stress
  • We want to become healthy and whole
  • We want to gain clarity in our life
  • We want to learn new skills to enhance our relationships
  • We want to live a life that is pleasing to God
  • We want to find SANITY

The Moment is Now

It was Palm Sunday at Harvest Church in Watauga, Texas, when Pastor Chuck Angel challenged those of us in the pews to find the courage to open the door to change and choice. I’ll paraphrase his message from the copious notes I took, when I wasn’t shouting, “Amen!”

When opportunity knocks, we need to have courage to overcome fear. There’s a difference between knowing what you should do and choosing to do it. The tipping point.

When we reach that point that takes us from “ought to do” to choosing to do it.

God will direct our path, but He won’t take the step for us. Some of us will stop on the journey. It’s not just knowing—it’s going. Often, there is a gap in the middle between knowing and going.

Life is a parade of “now” moments, not a series of tomorrows. No future moment is more significant than now.

Some of the boundary choices we face will be life-changing. Yet it’s not just about the monumental choices we make that dramatically change the course of our life, but the individual choices we make in the everyday moments of life as well. Combined they make us who we are, a rich tapestry of experience woven together with choice.

The journey to find SANITY doesn’t happen overnight. It isn’t just a matter of understanding what the word definitively means, or what types of boundaries exist, although these are important things to know. Understanding boundaries really begins when we stop seeing ourselves as helpless in a drowning situation and realize how much power we have over our actions and emotions. More important, understanding boundaries is also being aware of what God’s Word teaches us about the critical aspect of protecting our heart. One of the most powerful actions we can take in life is to choose to be in relationships that bring out the best in us—that nurture our heart—and that allow us to bring out the best in others as well.

Adapted from Setting Boundaries with Difficult People, Six Steps to SANITY for Challenging Relationships by Allison Bottke © 2011. Harvest House Publishers. All rights reserved.

Visit the Setting Boundaries Books website today for more information.

The Power of SANITY

SANITY is what we gain when we shift our priorities and stop focusing on dieting, food, and on our weight—when we stop focusing on the problems of others, and on the situations and circumstances of life, and begin to focus on changing our own attitudes and behaviors—starting with our hearts.

SANITY is living in the peace that comes when we put our trust in God.

S – Stop your own destructive patterns.           Stop Sign 2

STOP repeating our destructive patterns.

STOP ignoring our personal issues.

STOP being alone in our confusion and pain.

STOP pushing God out of the picture.

A – Assemble a support

If you feel the need to communicate with other people in your same situation, ask God to open the door for you to get connected. God already knows the plans He has for you to be in fellowship with others. Ask Him to reveal that knowledge to you, praying for wisdom and discernment to walk boldly in God’s purpose.

N – Nip excuses in the bud.I-cant

There are so many different excuses for why we live in bondage to poor choices, challenging situations, and painful circumstances. Yet as different as the excuses are, many begin with the same two words—two words we need to ask God to help us remove from our vocabulary—two words that cut right to the heart of God, telling Him we do not believe His Word, and calling Him a liar—“I can’t.”

I - Implement a plan, define your

Although we may not have been responsible for some of the things that happened to us in the past, we are responsible for our future, and our future depends on the choices we make today to take full responsibility for every aspect of who we are.

Hope lies in learning to depend on God and to make intentional choices that will change our lives and not just perpetuate the status quo.

T - Trust the voice of the Spirit.worship photo1

The Bible teaches us in Proverbs 3:5–6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (NIV).

Trusting your spiritual intuition and not worldly lies, emotional uncertainly, or even the head knowledge you may have becomes more natural as we understand God’s truth and hide it in our hearts.

Y - Yield everything to God.prayer-on-my-knees4

I have found that it’s often easy to see God in the exceptional things of life that make our spirits soar, or in the crisis situations that bring us to our knees. But it’s much more difficult to see God each and every day in the places in the middle, in the ordinary living of life; this requires a spiritual discipline that is beyond our human nature to acquire, a habit that can only come when we YIELD Everything to God and trust Him to be the Lord of our lives.


At some point, every Christian adult will have to release his or her problems to God and learn to trust Him for whatever happens.

Come near to God and He will come near to you.  James 4:8 NIV



Adapted from Setting Boundaries with Food, Six Steps to Lose Weight, Gain Freedom, and Take Back Your Life by Allison Bottke © 2008. Harvest House Publishers. All rights reserved.

Visit the Setting Boundaries Books website today for more information.

Making The Choice To Change do you think your true calling is? Are you living in the truth and light of that calling? If not, why not?

How many years have we wasted doing things we don’t want to do? Being people we don’t want to be? Living lives we never imagined for ourselves? When was the last time you focused on your passion, your purpose, and God’s plan for your life?

What matters is what God’s dreams are for your life. What does He want to “work out” in you? When He formed you in your mother’s womb, He had all your days ordained for you (Ps. 139:16). He had a plan for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 says He knows the plans He has for you, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.

What could His plans be? What are the blueprints He carved out just for you? Ask Him. Say to Him, what is your perfect dream for me, God? Show me! Work it out for me! He loves prayers like that. They are invitations for Him to show His power, His strength, and His love for you!

When it comes to changing our choices, some of us have been caught up in the dance of dieting dysfunction for years. But it’s never too late to change if we want to. It’s our choice to be conquerors, to claim what is written in Romans 8:37 (NIV),

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”

Chuck Angel is the senior pastor at Harvest Church in Watauga, Texas.  Pastor Chuck is not only a man after God’s heart, but also a man after everyone’s heart who walks through the doors of the rapidly growing church God has called him and his wife, Jill, to shepherd.  He is passionate about connecting us with Jesus and about making the truth of Scripture come alive.  He wants every heart to know God’s love.

Pastor Chuck’s message on change featured five key points.  It was so powerful and so appropriate to those of us desiring to set healthy boundaries that I asked Pastor Chuck’s permission to share those five critical components with you here.

  1. We need to be fully aware that things need to change.
  2. We need to turn to Jesus for help in changing.
  3. We need to get in position for God to do great work in our life.
  4. We need to be in partnership with God for the full release of His power.
  5. We need to stay the course.  Deep change has to be walked out.

I hope you’ll find Pastor Chuck’s message of the 5 Change Constants to be helpful as you navigate the terrain of change. The Bible is filled with stories of ordinary people who did extraordinary things with God’s help. There is no doubt that He can do the same today for you.


Adapted from Setting Boundaries with Food, Six Steps to Lose Weight, Gain Freedom, and Take Back Your Life by Allison Bottke © 2008. Harvest House Publishers. All rights reserved.

Visit the Setting Boundaries Books website today for more information.