SANITY Testimonials

Readers from Around the World Speak-up

A day seldom goes by when I don’t hear from someone who has read one of the books in the Setting Boundaries series or has heard a radio talk show or television program where I’ve been interviewed about this topic. It’s exciting to hear from readers who have found SANITY and are experiencing life-changing transformation in their relationships. On the other hand, it’s often heart breaking to hear from so many people who are crying out for help—especially concerning relationships with their adult children. I want to hug each one of you and let you know that you’re not alone.

If you are searching for hope and healing today, my prayer is that you will find it when you find SANITY. God will always make a way when there seems to be no way, and it’s no accident you are reading this now. Stay strong, faithful and focused as you travel the journey to set healthy boundaries and find SANITY in your life.

Scroll down to (or click on) any of the following sections to read what people around the world are saying:

Five Star Reader Reviews

Woman Reading Setting Boundaries BookReviewed by Kim Shelton (Bastrop, TX)
“I received this book 3 days ago. I read it in two nights. I plan to re-read it often. It is our family story and I wish I had read it 10 years ago. It is relevant, on-point and written out of love. I highly recommend it.”

Reviewed by William Oates (Dauphin, PA)
“I needed this book 30 years ago. It gives a wonderful but sad explanation of how many, many times I enabled my son to get everything he needed in the drug-addicted world he lived in, and still does today, at 40 years of age. I have lived almost every page of Allison’s book.”

Reviewed by Martina Espinoza (Temple City, CA)
“This book was a godsend!!! I really think that every parent of a child (and grandparents)should read this book because if you wait until they are teenagers, it could be too late. This book was an inspiration and a life changer. God Bless Allison Bottke. I really feel for what she and so many others go through.”

Reviewed by Lisa Cavitt (Du Quoin, IL)
“LOVED IT! I read the book in 2 days, then passed it on to my husband. One of the stories fit us to a T, Would highly recommend BEFORE you come to the end of your rope with your prodigal”

Reviewed by Katrina Steenstra (Shelby Twp, MI)
“This book is a Godsend for anyone struggling with the pain of a child who is akin to “the prodigal son”. It gave me hope and encouragement to read Allison’s story of her son. And to know that those of us who have loved someone with issues of addiction are not alone. Great book and I highly recommend it.”

Reviewed by Kathy Vendegna (Grand Junction, CO)
“If you have felt alone in your pain and struggle with your adult children, if you have guilt over past mistakes in raising your adult child, if everything in your life is on hold because you don’t know what your adult child will do next, this book is for you!!!!! I cannot explain how valuable the information in this book is. Don’t wait another minute. Hope is ahead. The only thing you may want to do is order extra for anyone you know who is in the same position.”

Reviewed by Linda Prier (Owasso, OK)
“This was the best book I’ve read on the subject and am anxious to give it a try. Nothing else has worked. The SANITY program makes a great deal of sense.”

Reviewed by Jennifer Levey (Oakland, CA)
“I loved this book! It gave me the resources and strength that I need to set boundaries for my son. I feel empowered, and appreciated the stories in the book that I could relate to.”

Reviewed by Carol Evans (Ypsilanti, MI)
“I ordered one book for myself and one for my sister. This is an excellent book if you, as parents, are in this situation with your adult child.”

Reviewed by Carol Carpenter (Mount Vernon, OH)
“This book helps parents of adult children see their own part in their child’s struggles and makes it clear that until we parents change our bad habits of enabling our adult child, they will never grow up. That message alone made us sit up and take notice. The book also gives real life situations that those of us going through similar things can relate to. We also like the step-by-step plan for changing the bad habits with our child and setting boundaries with consequences. The Biblical and spiritual references give such hope for facing our heartbreaking situations. We highlighted many points and phrases that gave clarity to how we were enabling our child. We highly recommend this book to parents struggling with their adult child.”

Reviewed by Susan Henry (Burlington, IA)
“I have been validated by reading this. I put this into practice 1 1/2 years ago with my son. He is 41. He needs to grow up and take responsibility for his own actions. Yes, I miss him, but I will no longer enable him. I feel so much less stress and have more energy than I had before. All this is tied in to taking care of me and not feeling guilty about doing so.”

Reviewed by Beverly Koch (Rochester Hills, MI)
“Awesome book. I am still working on dealing with my adult child who refuses to assume responsibility for herself. The sad part is that she has two twenty something’s that have the same problem!!!!! I will continue to read and work on the situation.”

Reviewed by Tammy Cornwell (Vale, NC)
“I ordered 2 of these books after hearing the author on Focus on the Family. One for my sister who is struggling with her adult son and one for a lady at church whose son has hurt her beyond measure. I thank God I am not experiencing this type of struggle but I feel this book will be perfect for those who are.”

Reviewed by Kathleen Kesinger (Humble, TX)
“I very much appreciated this candid approach to dealing with letting go of grown children and allowing them to handle the consequences of their choices without rushing in to rescue them. As parents, we all know that at some point, we have to let them live their own lives, but it’s very hard when we see them making major mistakes. We tell ourselves that we just want to help them get on their feet, and then we’ll back off. The author shows us that what we think is helping is actually enabling, and she gives us the confidence to back off and allow God to deal with them. It showed me that I needed to actually trust God to take care of my children and quit trying to help Him out. It also reminded me of something I already knew – sometimes He has to knock us down before we will look up, and He really does know how to handle every situation.”

Reviewed by Home Improvement Ministries (Saint Francis, MN)
“This book is excellent and I would highly recommend it to everyone. I found the information enlightening and very helpful. The author does not “sugar-coat” the issues, pain and the struggles that will occur as you put her recommendations into place. The author provides very solid steps to help deal with the issues and put a plan into place to help you accomplish your goals.”

Reviewed by Debbie Capicotto (Centennial, CO)
“This book is incredibly helpful if you are a parent in pain struggling with your adult children. It discusses many things that I found myself doing with my children and gives plans and solutions so I could discontinue my enabling ways. When I felt it was time to ask my eldest son to move out and make it on his own, this book validated that I was doing the right thing. Even though my family took him in and are still not forcing him to make it on his own, and are no longer speaking to me, after reading this book I realize that I did the right thing. He is now their problem and they can continue enabling him if they choose. I totally recommend this book to anyone with dysfunctional adult children. It really turned my life around. I no longer feel guilty or at fault for the way my son has turned out.”

Reviewed by Betty Aschenbrenner (Fresno Ca)
“I just ordered this book for my daughter. I woke up this morning at 3AM and had the radio tuned to Focus On The Family, (I always fall asleep with my radio on). My daughter has been going through just what Allison went through with her own son. My grandson is on drugs (meth) and is now in rehab for the 4th time. He also has a beautiful daughter who will be 4 years old which both grandmothers are caring for. My daughter beats herself up all the time and feels such guilt for not doing more for her son (although she does everything for him). She has repeatedly said she was giving him over to God yet continues enabling her son to continue in his behavior. Don’t we all do the same thing? I listened to Allison this morning and something made me get on the computer and order that book. Since my daughter and my grandson have both been saved and go to church regularly I am sure this book is what they both need. Thank you Allison.”

“Thank you, my life has changed!”

Family changed by Setting Boundaries booksDear Allison: My wife and I have read through your book once. I plan to read through it a second time. The book is priceless… can’t believe it was only $12.00. You have brought SANITY into our home after so long having chaos. Thank you and God richly bless you!
M.D.

Allison: Just read your book. It was amazing! Truly God speaks in mysterious ways to get His point across to us.  Thank you! I am still reflecting on the book and how best to apply it to my life.  Forgiveness is something we mere mortals seem to struggle with constantly.  No wonder it is such a big deal to God. I sincerely enjoyed the book.  The emphasis on forgiveness was subtly woven throughout without being preachy.  What a gift!
– L.S.

Allison: Just wanted to thank you so much for writing the book, Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children. I bought the book from a bookstore here in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada and I read it out loud word for word with my husband on a Saturday and it took us 8 hours with some breaks! We are Christian parents and could not put the book down because it related so much to what we had gone thru and are going thru. I am now re reading your book and highlighting what I can for quick helps. Thanks & God bless,
– M.

Dear Allison, Couldn’t wait to finish reading your book (Setting Boundaries . . .) before I thanked you for it. I have felt so alone for so long – so guilty, never being able to do enough for mistakes I have made with my children, but constantly trying. And just making things worse. Your book is the first book I have come across that nailed what I am going through. I thank God for you and for this book. Thanks again!
– M.W.

Allison: I was so relieved at what you had to say on TBN about adult children that don’t grow up. I am a single grandmother and since my child is very emotionally crippled, helping her take of her children has been a drain on me. I have been going to personal counseling since about the middle of December. My counselor suggested that I find a support group already set up on
line. Do you know of any? Thanks so much.
– J.B.

Dear Ms. Bottke: This is to thank you for writing Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children. I discovered the book on Amazon.com, in a recent desperate search for help when my wife and I were in yet another crises situation with our adult son. While severe and stressful to us, our situation pales in comparison to your personal experience, and the many heartbreaking examples in your book. Still, with the newfound knowledge obtained from reading your book, the help of a very competent and caring counselor, and the support from each other, we managed our way through. It wasn’t easy; but, as your book informs, it was necessary if we were going to stop stunting our son’s growth as an adult and take our own lives back.

There are many excellent points in your book. For us, two key points led the list. First, we needed to accept responsibility for our own actions by acknowledging the poor parenting decisions we had made, and apologize to our son for that, which we have done. We started with your sample script (p.94) and made it our own in a letter to our son.  Second, we need to accept our son for who he is, while stopping our enabling behavior. Again, that is not easy. But, as you point out, our prayer is that in the course of our new journey, our son will find his way as well; and, that we all will live our lives in peace and happiness.

With the help of your book, our counselor, each other, and God – yes there was and continues to be a great deal of prayer – we have stopped our enabling behavior while, thankfully, maintaining a strong, loving relationship with our son. God bless you,
– L.D.

Dear Allison, I came home today from seeing my son who is in Prison.  He has been locked up for 2 years now,( 3-27 is 2 year anniversary of arrest date)  I have been through so much pain and suffering over the past 3 or more years over his drug addictions and crimes that at times my heart hurt so bad that I just didn’t think I could ever go on with my own life.  Today I saw you on the TBN channel, I had this overwhelming need to share with you and thank God for people like you that help us know we are not alone.  The Lord has lifted me out of my heartache over the last 2 years and he gives me the strength to let my son make his own mistakes.  Today when I saw you God is still talking to me and giving me a mission to help others.  One day, soon, I will share my story in a more powerful way, this is my first step.  Thank you for your courage to reach out to us in pain. Respectfully,
– S.A.

Hi Allison: I just wanted to thank you ever soooooooooo much for your book………..I have not read it as yet…….but my sister has (the one with the son struggling with alcohol). Her daughter is reading it now………they have learned MUCH and they are following your steps………..its very difficult but they are doing it………my nephew will be sentenced on July 14th with alcohol related charges. We are sure he will be in jail for an extended time. Thank you for your encouragement, love and prayers……..Praise God for your MUCH needed ministry to hurting families such as ours…..In Christ,
– C.D.

Hi, Allison. I know you are incredibly busy marketing your new book, but I must share God’s incredible timing. Last week, I received Setting Boundaries as a review copy for your upcoming blog tour. I started reading it, and during the week – before Friday morning – I read to page 66 and put a bookmark in place for my return.

Today, I can’t concentrate long enough to work, so I picked up your book again. Right in the spot where I am – right where I needed it – on page 66 – right at the time I needed it. Then, I get word that you were on Moody today, so I listened to the program. Much of what you said hit home so clearly to me and it was wonderful hearing your voice, filled with hope and joy. As I continue through the grief process, and start putting our lives back in order, I will return to your book again and again. I really hate this tough love stuff – as I know you do, too.

I know that your volume of email will increase by the millions as word of this book gets around, so I wanted to get mine in early, just to say thank you. Thank you for helping me to know I’m not alone, and for helping me to realize that I’m not an evil, horrid person for being so tough. Thank you for helping me understand that there is still hope for my son, and that it is okay for me to want a better life.

I told my husband that I plan to buy a dozen of these books to keep on hand to give away as I hear of other parents hurting. I also want to give some to a few family members who have been extremely critical and harsh with my tough love on my son in the past. Maybe your book will help them understand. May God continue to bless your work and to guide your ministry.
T.R.

Approximately 3 years ago, my girlfriend gave me your book and told me how it changed her life.  I was having problems with my then 16-year-old son.  I read the book and told her I thought it was a great book, but my problems weren’t “that” bad and I could handle them.  About a year later, I couldn’t ignore the problems anymore and finally had to admit, I couldn’t control him anymore.  My son ended up in intensive care for 2 weeks after “dying” twice on the table due to drugs.  He was released from the hospital and I thanked God for a second chance and everything was going to be perfect now.  Hmmm…yeah, not really.  Next thing I know he’s threatening to have me arrested, swinging golf clubs at his father and myself, stealing everything to have money for his drugs and alcohol.  My girlfriend told me to read your book again. I feel like a new person, with newfound strength.  I finally looked in the mirror at myself and realized I can’t change him, I can only change my reactions.

My son is on a downward spiral.  He no longer lives in our house.  I am very proud to say that I have not given him a cent since we asked him to leave.  I love him dearly, but my husband and daughter are worth more than that.  I am worth more than that.  I can no longer “fix” him.  I can only pray and love him and wait for him to accept our love but more importantly God’s love.  It will happen and when it does he will have an amazing testimony.  Jeremiah 29:11 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Without your book, without God’s love and strength and without my very strong friend, I am convinced that I would not be here today.  I fear that I would not be alive.

I am proud to say that I am no longer his enabler.  I am a wife, a mother, and a very proud Christian. In return, I have handed out your book to at least 5 different friends.

Thank you…thank you…thank you!!!
– L.B.

Allison: I have a very dysfunctional adult child and my story is exactly like yours with the exception of my son getting to the point of murder. I do believe if I do not do something now (he’s 24) that it could eventually come to that. He lies consistently he doesn’t work, he smokes pot, etc. I have been an enabler all of his life thinking I was saving him from hurt and heartache – not knowing I was the one actually making it worse. I’ve cleaned up his messes, I’ve searched for his jobs, I’ve filled out paperwork he should have filled out, I bought his cars, I paid his insurance, I’ve washed his clothes….I could go on and on. He has been in jail twice, each time for 30 days for marijuana, flunked out of three colleges, moved to Portland, OR so he could smoke pot and not get thrown in jail (rules aren’t as strict as Texas) etc.

THEN I went to the computer and typed in cutting apron strings from adult child and a link to your website came up with a copy of SETTING BOUNDARIES WITH YOUR ADULT CHILD book listed on it. I immediately picked up the phone and found a copy of the book in Barnes and Noble and drove to the store and bought it. I sat in the bookstore reading the book and crying – feeling like it was my story and also my heart breaking for you as a mother. I finished the book the next day and let me tell you – I felt so empowered and still do.

I will read it over and over again daily to make sure I keep everything fresh in my mind and keep reminding myself not to let fear keep me from doing the right thing and letting him take responsibility for his own actions and accept the consequences without me intervening. I do feel the need to start a support group in our area but feel I’m not quite ready to do so yet because I haven’t completely gone through the entire process with my son . I don’t know if I am qualified enough. I have set boundaries and are living by them, but still going through pain as you can imagine, but with the knowledge that God has a plan for all of us and I have to step out of the way. I don’t know how to begin to thank you for writing this book from a mother’s perspective. I feel God used you and still is to help so many others and I would like to join you in helping others in my area. Please email me back if you have the time. I would very much appreciate your input. I feel like I know you and love you. God bless you and your entire family (especially your son).
M.S.

There are many, many helpful non-fiction books in this world to choose from, but this is one that every parent MUST read. It’s incredibly well written and interesting, and the examples are excellent. Since I’ve worked with dysfunctional people and families for twenty years as a social worker, I can testify that Allison knows what she is talking about. She’s obviously poured her heart and soul into this book in order to help families, and I’ve not found better advice out there for people who have adult children than is mentioned here. In fact, I brought it to church with me to a Bible study as I was reading it. People were checking it out because everyone knows someone who has an adult child who has torn their parents’ hearts out by the way they live their lives.

The awesome thing about this book is that the advice will actually work, painful as it will be. It’s scripturally sound advice. Allison makes an impressive case as you’ll see when you read the book. There is even a benefit to reading this book while your kids are still young, or teenagers. They don’t have to be fully-grown children for you to benefit as a reader. Why? Because you can stop destructive patterns BEFORE you let them destroy your children. I’ve pondered some things about my own parenting style as a result of this book and it’s sparked some great discussions with my husband. We are doing a lot of things right, but there are always ways to improve. Like making sure your own childhood deficits don’t interfere with what God is trying to work in your child’s life. My boys are 15 and 16 and Setting Boundaries for Your Adult Children has actually helped me with some decisions I need to make as they grow older. I feel so much more equipped. Bless Allison for opening her heart and making herself vulnerable for the sake of the ministry God has given her. This book is a winner!
– Michelle in AZ

Allison, I just want to thank you for writing this book. A friend gave me this book last night and I just finished reading it. My daughter is in so many ways just like your son. I have felt for 3 years that I have been all alone in my struggle with her. We have no support groups where I live and I have blamed myself as being a bad mother. My daughter is a recovering heroin addict. She has used and abused us so bad. She is currently in so much trouble with debt, but she has the “I Don’t Care Attitude.” I pray that God will bless your ministry and I hope that someday I can help someone, like you have helped me, through reading this book. You are a precious gift from God. Thank you again for your encouraging words and especially for showing me that I am not alone.

May God Richly Bless You,
– J. C.

My husband and I were in the SANITY support group, and it has made quite a difference in our lives. At the first meeting I started to have a glimmer of hope, first time in 4 years of watching and enabling my son as he continued to struggle with addiction and bad behavior. Not always easy or steady, though. At about the 5th meeting, things in our home got quite a bit worse…

We leaned on others in the group as they shared storied that were so similar to ours. Evidently there are a lot of us sharing this agony, and it breaks it down as we share each others’ burdens and lift each other up in prayer.

A huge blessing in this, also, was that my husband has now been in a real church, something I had never thought would happen… Such evidence of God’s love and grace… to take something as awful as a child’s addiction and use it for some good!

Thank you for hosting this at the church, giving us a place to learn about the program and to support each other.
– D.

Just a note to let you know how much my husband and I appreciate your SANITY support group. Not a meeting has gone by that you haven’t said something that just clicks with us. While our stories seem different in so many ways, what you said last night about doing all the right things and believing that the outcome was guaranteed could have been my words exactly. While my family doesn’t struggle with drugs or jail (our daughter struggles with porn, money irresponsibility and the “demon” boyfriend) the pain feels just as real. I suppose the Y in SANITY is hard for many with the “mama bear” mentality, but your calm manner and instruction style have really been a blessing.
– V.K.

I heard your Focus on the Family a few days ago and bought the book Saturday – halfway through it already. I’m excited about being able to let go and know I’m not a bad parent, but also concerned, scared, worried at the same time. I already feel like a weight has begun to be lifted. I am so glad I heard you on the radio, found your book and website. Thank you so much,
– L.W.

Hi Allison: I am the DFW area columnist you recently sent a copy of your book to after reading my series on out of control teens. I read some of it and passed it along as I know two parents struggling with adult children and boundaries. I just got this email from a friend who is reading your book and thought you might want to read it. Always nice to hear how your work is helping others. Blessings,
– Patti Pfeiffer, Columnist, Star Community News

Patti,
I just wanted to tell you that the book you loaned me is helping me so much this week! My daughter was arrested Monday night for one count of marijuana possession, and two counts of driving with a suspended license. She is begging me to get her out of Dallas jail. I cannot but it is hard to hear her crying and pleading! I am standing strong though and hope God gets her heart this time around! She will be there for 3 to 4 weeks before she can even see a judge.
I just felt the need to tell you that you had a part in helping me with this! I know all the things that I have read, I just haven’t had to use them in so long that I had forgotten some of it. I am the enabler recently and have to stop!

Professional and Pastoral Endorsements:

Pastor endorses Setting Boundaries BooksAllison, You are an excellent radio guest.  Bright.  Cheerful.  Articulate.  Informed.  And best of all…real.   I loved your transparency and real life humor!  And so did our listeners!  Our phone lines were full…and we had a significant number of post-interview emails asking how/where people could get a copy of Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children. I’d love to have you back.  You are welcome anytime! Blessings,
– Neil Boron

“This book will launch a brand new beginning in your life. You may feel you are in a desert place right now as you struggle with a parenting crisis, but be alert! There’s a stream in the wasteland—and you can begin making hope-filled choices that will forever change your future for the better.”
– Carol Kent, Speaker and Author of When I Lay My Isaac Down (NavPress) and  A New Kind of Normal (Thomas Nelson)

“Allison Bottke has stepped forward in a courageous, straight-from-the-heart manner and dealt with an issue that has plagued parents since the dawn of time: setting (and enforcing) boundaries for rebellious adult children. Having been not only a parent but a pastor who faced this issue countless times, I am excited to see that a mother who has wrestled with demons to see her child delivered has written a heartfelt yet practical book of advice and encouragement that will bless each and every one who reads it.”
– Kathi Macias, Award-winning author and speaker

“No one knows better the pain of dealing with adult children who have lost their way better than the parents of those without boundaries. Sometimes it feels as though the setting of these boundaries is more difficult than living with the anxiety, stress, and heartache, but that’s not so. Allison Bottke, writing through her own hurt and experience, has compiled a masterpiece of advice. She doesn’t just tell you or show you how it’s done. She walks along beside you.”
– Eva Marie & Jessica Everson, Authors of “Sex Lies and the Media” and “Sex, Lies, and High School” (Cook/Life Journey)

“Lack of boundaries with adult children is a worldwide epidemic with catastrophic consequences. Allison shares not only her experience as a parent who has traveled this painful road, but gives readers concrete tools to stop the insanity and start living a life of hope and healing. Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children is destined to be the official resource of hope for countless parents and grandparents.”
– Heather Gemmen Wilson, Author of Startling Beauty, My Journey from Rape to Restoration

“Parent! If you’ve tried everything humanly possible to rescue your adult child, yet you find yourself still drowning in a sea of chaos, calamity and guilt, Allison’s book is the lifesaver you’ve been searching for. It’s filled with practical ways that will set you free to get on with your life.”
– Judy Hampton, Speaker and Author of Ready? Set? Go! – How Parents with Prodigals Can Get on with their Lives

“To some readers this book will arrive ‘just in time,’ releasing them from the bondage of a present crisis.  To others, this book will serve as a ‘how-to’ manual when the unwanted crisis comes knocking. To many, this timely teaching will serve as a mirror, exposing lies and revealing the truth. But Allison Bottke doesn’t leave us sulking at our reflection.  In Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, she places within our hands a prescription. When filled and faithfully followed, her writing will bring hope and healing.”
– Pastor Steve Hill, Author of Operating in the Miraculous. Heartland World Ministries Church, Las Colinas, TX

“I have talked with many parents who know they need boundaries with both their adult and adolescent kids. They are apprehensive about setting limits and fearful of enforcing them. Readers will identify with Allison. She offers many helpful suggestions on establishing and implementing workable boundaries that will bring harmony back to families.  I recommend her book to all parents.”
– Pastor Larry Bodmer, Director of Biblical Counseling, Overlake Christian Church, Redmond, Washington

“I’m desperate! Can you please help me?”

Woman writing letter to Allison BottkeHow can I set boundaries for our adult daughter(31),when my husband is the enabler?  He doesn’t see it as a problem.  He gives her money, cigarettes, his car and always an excuse for her behavior.  I am at the end of my rope and considering leaving a 37-year relationship because I can no longer live this way. – Sincerely,
– DM

I’m born again, 55 yrs old, married(3rd time) with 4 children. After 2 bad marriages, I met and married my current husband 6 years ago. He is born again also. We are a blended family with challenges. I need help dealing with his controlling behavior (he handles the money and I have to ask for everything, we live in his home where his first wife died and we need to fix it up and sell it but he drags his feet about it. I cannot go into everything in this little space but we’ve attempted counseling but he won’t talk. I was passive in my other marriages to the point of being a doormat and now I don’t know how to deal with our marriage. I know it’s wrong to be aggressive and deal with this in anger but I’m not sure how to handle it. I’ve read other books on boundaries but I don’t know how to apply them to my situation. Please help me. I love my husband but I know this is not mentally healthy for me or my family.
 B.M.

Allison, I have an adult daughter that moved home with a two year old, she just found out she is expecting a 2nd child. We have 3 other daughters very successful, very productive, responsible daughters. They are all angry at my husband and I for enabling our daughter to live at home for free, she has a job but only just started it. She can’t afford to move out and we are concerned for her 2-year-old daughter that is a sweet, loving child. What can we do? Kick them out to an unsafe neighborhood? What do real Boundaries look like??? I would very much appreciate a look at a real contract to use as a template. I just didn’t get the big picture on doing this from your book and neither did my husband. You book is great! It is the hardest book I’ve ever read and it seems so have impacted my and husband and I with equal “WOW” please help us with the boundaries contact and how it should look when complete. Any ideas for how we should handle our situation?  Please help because for the first time in a long time we are working shoulder to shoulder to save our family and marriage. Thank you for your book and thank you for allowing me to write you directly. – CS

I am a grandparent with a difficult situation and would love to chat with other people in this program to see if anyone else has a similar situation and can shed some light on how to handle it.  I have read your Six Steps to…book and found it extremely informative and helpful.  But, it would really help to talk with others and get feedback.  My husband and I are desperate!!
– R.R.

I am a pastor and I have an adult son who keeps struggling with his finances and comes after us to bail him out all the time. It has caused stress for the relationship, and caused heartache and guilt for my wife and I. I know of several others in our church who are going through the same thing. Can you offer some guidelines on how to get a SANITY Support Group started in our church? Thanks!
– M.S.